Part Deuce

It’s 5:30 in the morning. My sleep time has been off since getting back from the east coast, but I don’t mind. I like watching the sunrise. Besides, “the early bird gets the worm,” right? Speaking of which, while driving on Old Route 66, we stopped for gas and came across a very interesting delicacy in the convenience store. Dried insects. With the “bad parts removed and special seasonings added,” says the clerk.  Oh Yummy! Someone once said “each day you should take a risk that scares you to death”…. this could be my opportunity today! Hmm…

Picking up from last nights entry on the beginnings of my poker journey -

–

As I moved up in limits, especially to the $10-20 Limit Hold-em game, the competition really improved and I struggled to win. Probably because of past failures, but more likely because I wasn't yet good enough to win at the higher levels. Whatever the reason, I was filled with self-doubt. Dealing with losing was hard and I questioned my ability to win and was very self-critical in what I was doing. This sometimes motivated me to study harder, but at other times led to self-destruction.

One of the difficulties I struggled with was doing one thing while doing another. Meaning I was trying to deal cards and play at the same time. Those of you who are trying to become professionals at poker and carry a regular full-time job know what I mean. Your interests are split and it makes it difficult to focus, concentrate and thus be successful. For example, I made good money dealing, around $150 a day. Playing $10-20, however, I could lose or win twice that much in an hour. So when it came time for me to quit my poker game and go deal, no matter how I stood in the game it was rough. Say I was stuck $400, did I really want to go sit in a box and deal for 8 hours just so I could end up losing $250 for the day? Not! And when I was up $400 and running good I hated even more leaving my poker game. But with all the ups and downs I was still only a break-even player at the higher limits. With my attention divided which hat should I wear became my biggest question. I felt divided and pressured to choose to either quit playing and stick to the security of the income from dealing or take the dealer hat off and commit to playing full time.

I switched my attention to intention and quit my job and started playing and travelling full time. I’d like to say that commitment was all I lacked and that it was all rosy after that, but it wasn’t. I struggled for four years oftentimes going broke and taking an odd job. I even went back in the box and dealt to the players that busted me once, which was a very humbling if not humiliating experience. The key for me was that I kept going in spite of my failures. Stubbornness I suppose, but the childhood phrase “winners never quit and quitters never win” stuck with me.

I moved around games, experimenting with pot-limit hold-em, $20-40 and playing $200-$300 tournaments. $20-40 Limit Hold-em was really my first bigger limit game where I had enough success that it gave me the courage to keep going. The game seemed to have more play to it and be more psychological then playing with the rocks and tight-asses in the $10-20. I learned an important lesson then, that if you can’t win at one level it doesn’t always mean you have to step down, sometimes it may mean you have to step up!

And so I did and it worked. I started winning regularly and even won my first big tournament in 2002. It was a $200 Limit Hold-em event for $66,000. After that win my confidence soared and I was off to see the world. I think I won 8 move events that year and my focus switched from cash games to tournaments and it was there I found my niche. 

One thing I didn’t find after 2002 was the dealer box again. I had moved on with my new found  confidence and let the deck be in someone else’s hand, letting them deal the cards, so I could focus on playing them.

Enjoy the Journey,

Kenna James