http://goinswriter.com/my500words/

I awoke to an email that inspired me to pick up my pen (keyboard) and begin writing my blog again. I enjoy writing even though it holds many challenges for me. The discipline of writing on a consistent basis and my faulty grammar being a couple of them. I also tend to fall on the perfectionist side when it comes to doing anything, so the fear of putting something out in public that is not perfect, but flawed with incomplete thoughts, sentences and rambling gibberish (that none could possibly make sense of or find interesting) also finds me the victim with a dry pen.  

The challenge in the email, which sent me to the link above, was to write 500 words a day for 31 days. 

It sounds simple enough, but in my experience following through with anything for 31 days, is quite a challenge.

One of the ways of overcoming that challenge is to not allow myself to over-think, analyze or edit what I'm writing. 

Instead, I am to tap into my spirit and allow the words to flow from whatever inspires me at the moment. And so without further delay in explaining what I'm doing, let me get on to doing it. 

It feels like I'm jumping into a pool of cold water, still in the air, but already committed to the impending doom of the cold water that awaits below.

I have high expectations for myself in playing poker in 2014.  I just turned 50 a couple of weeks ago and am now officially qualified for any senior poker event. For some reason these fields are perceived as weaker. With a field filled with experienced players I'm not quite sure why that is the case. I suppose that most feel that us older players have lost a step. That we've become passive and fearful in our approach to the game and that leads to a cautiousness and tentativeness in playing our hands. In my experience being overly cautious, passive or tentative in competition does lead to defeat.

How can one who has experienced great loss not become cautious or tentative? It would only seem natural and would also explain why someone who is 21 and has not experienced loss of any significance would face the game with such reckless abandon.  When the two combine in battle (experience vs. youth) an interesting non verbal dialogue goes on. Now having been on both sides of the fence, I hear it more clearly. I see the "young gun" make this bold and brash play while the elder statesman shakes his head in disbelief while saying to himself "if he only knew what awaits." Ironically the young gun sends back the consideration "Foolish old man. Risk or Rust baby!" The bottom line is that each is risking at a level that is acceptable to them based on their own individual experience.

We've all won and lost in poker. In my book it's how you handle each that determines who you are. 

What happens when I win? And I've been winning a lot lately. Well, it's quite different now then when I first started that's for sure. I'll be writing about my wins and what I do and the experiences that come with being a winner.

What happens when I lose? I've been given an interesting perspective on loss by my mentor Eddie Walters. "Winning tells you what you're attached to, but it is in losing you discover who you are." Adopting that consideration has allowed me to see loss in a different light. To not take loss as a negative, but rather a positive and in doing so not see it as "bad." Instead I view loss now as a learning opportunity. One in which allows me to grow both personally and professionally as both a poker player and a human being. Without the fear of loss of money hanging in the balance, even at 50 I have the courage necessary to compete at the highest levels. These blog entries will be the story of that journey.

Enjoy the Journey!

Kenna